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The Girl I Was (Standard Edition): From the New York Times Bestselling Author of the Perfect MarriageFrom New York Times bestselling author, Jeneva Rose, comes a fully updated and expanded edition of THE GIRL I WAS, the first book she ever wrote, featuring six brand new chapters from a fresh point of view. "While packing a delightful punch of nostalgia, The Girl I Was delivers one of the most satisfying character transformations I've read in a while Jeneva Rose's latest is witty and tender." Shelby Van Pelt, New York Times bestselling author of
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Best in 7 days
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Best in 7 days
4.0 ★★★★★
Based on 1862 reviews
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Product Reviews
★★★★★ 5
Wow!
Format: Paperback
I do not understand how the authors got so much information so comprehensibly into such a short book. It's 272 pages but it felt so short because the information is jam-packed in there and presented so well. It's one thing to know your stuff, it's a whole other ballgame to present it so people (without the level of training the author's have) can dive deep and really understand what you're saying and these authors nailed it. Great book, so interesting and easy to read.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 2, 2026
★★★★★ 5
"Don't Practice on Your Significant Other"
Format: Kindle
This book's authors have many years of experience interviewing CIA assets, CIA employees, and a variety of ordinary people in non-CIA settings. Their specialty is in determining when someone is lying. And they are good at it. This skill in detecting deception has done a lot of good, helping their clients make better decisions about hiring the right new employee, trusting the right baby sitter, and prosecuting the person who really "did it." Sometimes the skills bring pain, making clear that the waiting doctor's politeness covers bad news or that a spouse isn't really joking about "her boyfriend." Still, it's better to know, isn't it?
Detecting deception isn't magic and it isn't infallible. But it is possible to become better at it than most of us are now. The book identifies several barriers to accurately detecting deception. We expect most people to tell the truth, we ask the wrong questions, and we look for the wrong "tells" in other people's behavior. And we try to watch everything they do instead of focusing on a small number of reliable indicators.
Such reliable indicators of deception include certain kinds of verbal hesitations and evasions as well as specific body movements of which a deceiver is largely unaware. Readers learn to ask questions that require different mental processing from guilty versus innocent suspects. One technique is to ask questions a good guy will answer with an immediate--and perhaps angry--"No!" while the bad guy will need to give a longer, more carefully worded response. We watch for deception indicators that begin in the first five seconds after a question. And we look for clusters of indicators rather than for single actions. There is more to it, of course, but this is the core methodology the book presents. It's good stuff. And it's learnable.
I attended a training session conducted by the authors' company (QVerity, in partnership with hemsleyfraser) this week. I had listened to roughly three-quarters of the audiobook during a long car ride the day before. Based on what I learned from the book I was able to do well in the video pre-test, successfully distinguishing a lying suspect from the four who told the truth. Almost everyone was also able to do this after two hours of training. So it seems to me that the book is nearly as valuable as being taught these skills by the authors themselves. It is a well-written, fascinating book on a very useful topic. I highly recommend it.
A final comment. The book closes with a warning to use these skills only for good. And to not practice them on our significant others. Apparently catching your spouse in all of those little white lies can put unnecessary stress on the relationship. I may have made a variation of this error by giving my wife a copy of the book and inviting her along to the training. Not sure that was such a good idea. We'll see.
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Reviewed in the United States on July 20, 2012
★★★★★ 4
My honest review of the book . Spy The Lie
Format: Paperback
Spy the Lie" by Philip Houston is a practical and fascinating guide that teaches you how to spot deception using the same proven techniques developed by the CIA. Instead of looking for unreliable body language "clues," it focuses on identifying specific verbal and non-verbal behaviors that people show when they are feeling the stress of a lie. It’s written in very clear, everyday language with plenty of real-world examples, making it a great tool for anyone who wants to communicate more effectively and know who they can really trust.
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Reviewed in the United States on February 4, 2026
★★★★★ 5
A must have for, among others, clinical physicians and -especially- mental health experts
Format: Paperback
Very good book. The authors state in a clear and unambiguous way several "tips" that may help us detect deceptive behaviors. They repeat the points, making them easier to "stick". What's interesting is how simple they appear in their application; we are not talking about mathematical topology...The glossary completes admirably the book. Would I read it again? Definitively (a quality "seal" for me). As a physician (psychiatrist) I would definitively suggest it to all physicians that perform clinical work, but, above all, to psychiatrists...
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Reviewed in the United States on May 19, 2026
★★★★★ 5
Deception Detection Primer
This book is well written and is perfect for the newbie like me to grasp the concepts: easy to follow, logically structured, points explained well and with examples, points tied together so you understand how they fit. A few reviewers think the points in the book are obvious. Many of them are, but I think the easy-to-follow writing makes the points seem even more obvious. Superficially, and taken separately, many of these ideas do seem obvious. The hard part is coming to an accurate conclusion about deception.
One reason is because many deception indicators can be false positives. For example, a commonly-believed indicator of deception is crossing your arms. How do you tell if a specific instance of this behavior is a deception indicator or not? The book gives a framework for when deception indicators are, at that moment, an indicator of deception. Another reason is that verbal indicators of deception can be missed or misunderstood. The book goes into excellent detail about how to recognize verbal indicators and to tell when a verbal indicator is, in fact, likely to be deception.
One of the better parts of the book, in my opinion, discussed the initial interrogation of OJ Simpson before his murder trial. They run through the questions that the detectives asked and explained how and why these questions did not work in eliciting possible deception. They then ran through the questions they would ask, following the model in the book, and explained how these questions would have been more effective.
The book stresses the limits of these ideas. You will not read this book and become a human lie detector. Being really good at spotting the lies AND directing an interview to extract those lies takes, I'm sure, lots of practice. However, you CAN gain insights and be better at deception detection just from reading this book. For example, when you watch a suspect interviewed on a news show like Dateline NBC, you'll spot the verbal cues that indicate possible deception, and you'll never watch these shows in quite the same way.
Prior to reading this book, I read "I Know You Are Lying" by McClish. Both books cover a lot of the same material, but from slightly different perspectives. I highly recommend both books if you're interested in this topic. I recommend reading "Spy the Lie" first, as it seems to give a more complete framework for implementing these ideas, then read the McClish book for additional insights.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 16, 2013
